Inverview with a Foreigner

Today I had lunch with a 4th grade class. It was a very western meal of hamburger, broccoli and tomato soup with vegetables...

During lunch I had a very interesting conversation with a group of students. I will now attempt to recreate that conversation...

Daniel:  Hello

Student:  Hello

(awkward silence)

Student:  How old are you? (in English)

Daniel:  I'm 25 years old. (in Japanese)

The students discussed this for several minutes. How could I be 25 when I had previously told them I was 24? Eventually, they realized that foreigners must also have birthdays, but students still have many misconceptions about teachers...

1. Teachers don't age.

2. Teachers both live and work at school.

3. Teachers never leave the school.

4.  Teachers know the answer to everything.

Back to the conversation...

Student: Do you have a girlfriend?

Daniel: No I don't.

Student: Oh...ok. Do you have a boyfriend?

Daniel: No I don't

My kids are very accepting. So proud!

Student: How many times do you shave each day?

Daniel:  One.

Student: When?

Daniel: In the morning.

Honto?

I am a fairly confident person. Somewhere in between giving a speech to strangers and shakin' it on the dancefloor. But every once in a while a situation arises in which I find myself unsure...

For example...

(Japanese conversation in the McDonald's drive thru)

Employee:  Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order.

Daniel:  Yes. I would like a Big Mac Set. 

Employee:  Cheeseburger set?

Daniel:  No. Big Mac Set please. 

Employee:  Cheeseburger set?

At this point I start to wonder if I actually do want a cheeseburger set. Maybe this random McDonald's employee knows me better than I know myself. 

Usually, it is the questioning of my most basic answers that will send me backpeddaling and wondering if I really know what I know. A perfect example of this happened today...

Teacher:  Daniel sensei. Do you know ---- sensei?

Daniel:  Yes. She is teaching 5th grade again.

 Teacher:  Ah. I see. Is she well?

Daniel:  Yes.

Teacher:  Ah...really?

Daniel:  Yes...At least I think so...She seems fine to me...You know I'm not really sure...I don't know ok!..(and then I ran from the room crying).

Ok. All of that did not actually happen, but I think I've made my point. So until next time I will be learning everything about everything and everyone so it never happens again.

Samurais Have to Eat Too

New Co-Worker: Do you cook at home for your husband?

Staci: Sometimes but sometimes he cooks for me. Most of the time we cook together.

New Co-Worker: O, yes.  I cook for my wife.

Staci: Wow. That's really great.

New Co-Worker: She works very late and doesn't have time some days so I try to help.

Staci: That's very nice of you.

New Co-Worker: Yes.. but I don't want to. It hurts my Samurai Spirit.

Weekend at Buddha's

I honestly do not know much about the teachings of Buddha or the man himself.

However I do envy his peaceful demeanor and thoughtful sayings...

on communication...

“A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.”

on roadkill...

“You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself”

on relationships...

“He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes.”

and inspiration...

“Life is suffering.”

Representations of Buddha always seem so tranquil and relaxed. Needless to say, I would buy his brand of loungewear. 

Last weekend we decided to visit the largest Buddha statue in Japan. 

It is an astonishing 120 meters tall (394 ft)! 

There is also a garden and animal park around the statue...

a much smaller model of the head

some very eager fish

When entering the Buddha you must remove your shoes and walk into a room. Suddenly, the lights will go out and a guide will provide information. This is supposed to relax you and provide a sense of peace before entering. Instead, Staci's nails were digging into my arm as I tried to remember how to say “we changed our minds” in Japanese.

After a two-minute eternity the doors opened and we explored the rest of the Buddha. 

a big toe

 the view from Buddha's chest

“When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky”

-Buddha

                                                                                       

Tornadoes are my New Facebook Friends

New co-worker: Good morning Staci. 

Staci: Good morning. 

New co-worker: Yes! 1 point for English conversation practice!!

Later that day...

New co-worker: Staci, where are you from in America? 

Staci: Oklahoma. 

New co-worker: Oh.. That is near Kansas. 

Staci: Yes, it is. 

New co-worker: Kansas has many tornadoes... Have you ever met a tornado? 

Staci: Um.. Yes. I have met several personally. 

Daily happenings of an AET

Today a naked 1st grade boy chased me around a classroom asking me what animal I liked.

Background: They had just come from swimming class so they were changing. Yes, they all change together in the classroom. O and yes, the public school provides swimming class.

That is all. I think it is enough.

Staci Makes Children Cry

A long time ago I was teaching my 2^nd graders feelings. 

 

How are you? I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m great, I’m fine… 

We were playing this game called “How are you Monster?”

  

Game credit to Genki English

The children stand against the wall and the monster stands in the middle of the room. The students asks the monster how he/she is. IF the monster says “I’m Hungry!” that is when the kids run. Their goal is to get to the other side without the monster tagging them or they become the monster.

 

There is some set up to this game though that gives them some incentive to get to the other side. I tell them that I am the monster and I enjoy eating children so they should run really fast. 

The game begins… 

Students: How are you monster? 

Staci: I’m fine. 

The students take a step. 

Students: How are you monster? 

Staci: I’m sad 

The students take a step 

This goes on for a while and then suddenly… 

Students: How are you monster? 

Staci: I’m hungry!! 

I chase the children and catch the tiniest 2^nd grader I have. I pick him up and pretend like I am eating him. 

Usually the child is squirming/giggling, but this kid wasn’t moving, he was frozen.

  

I looked down at him and he was crying… I mean REALLY crying. I then put him down. 

Student: PLEASE! PLEASE! STACI SENSEI, DON’T EAT ME! PLEASE…. 

The teacher and I had to take the student aside and explain this was just a game and he was actually in no danger at all, to which he replies… 

Student: I’m sorry. I really thought you were going to eat me. 

What does this have to do with Kocho week you ask?? He was there laughing at me.

  

Have you ever made a child cry?

Kocho Week

I have decided to dedicate this week on our blog to my Kocho Sensei because he is amazing.

I will try to add a new story about him everyday.

First of all, a Kocho Sensei is the principal of a school. In Japan this is a VERY respected position. They have to take many tests and work for many years as a teacher to get this job. Also, when they are the Kocho whatever they say at school goes, everyone must bow to the Kocho (literally). This usually means that the person in this position is very serious.

O and I am not using code by calling him Kocho Sensei, he is referred to by his title never his name.

My first memory of my Kocho was around my 3rd week of school. I needed to ask permission for something so I stepped up to the office door and peeked inside to see if he was there and I saw him at his desk..

In his clear rain suit (over his business suit), floppy straw sun hat, white driving gloves, and black toe socks (no shoes) casually typing on his computer.

I decided to come back another time.

Embarrassing Moment # 500,301

Last night I picked up my friend Heather for a small get together we were attending.

I honked a couple of times and she did not come out.

It was raining and cold and if you haven’t figured it out already… I am super lazy.

I just didn’t want to get out of the car and walk all the way around the building to knock on the door so I just knocked on her back window.

A man opened the curtain…

Brett? (Heather’s husband) Why is he in his underwear…? O no. That is not Brett. I just knocked on some poor unsuspecting Japanese man’s window.

Suddenly, the man opens the door and says “Brett san?” I say “Yes….” Looking at the ground. He says, “Next door” and points to the next window Apparently I forgot how to count to 3. “Thank you, I’m sorry”

I then ran around the building and knocked on the CORRECT door where Heather was waiting for me.

Lazy Sunday

I got a message from my mom this week.

She said I should not call my students weirdos like I did in this post.

She believes I should have said goobers.

I think she is wrong.

I also found it odd she wasn't more concerned about me hitting children.

*Disclaimer* I don't actually hurt the goobers.

Storytime with Staci

** Staci and teachers watching TV in the break room at lunch**

Teacher: Do you think that man is handsome?

This man had a sequined shirt on and pink pants. Japanese fashion, gotta love it.

Staci: Um… No, not really.

Teacher: Staci sensei is picky eater of handsome face?

Staci: Yes, I am.

The Sasumata

Teacher: We are having a drill today. The kind where the foreigner comes in the building to harm the students.

Staci: Foreigner?? Like a gaijin. Like me?

Teacher: NO! I am sorry.. Eh to (Japanese equivalent of um)..**sucking of air through teeth** Strange man drill! Strange man comes into the school to hurt the children.

Staci: O.. Ok. What do you want me to do?

Teacher: Stay here and answer phones.

Staci: **Uh…. Say what?**

(Teachers leave for 10 minutes and then return with the grounds keeper. He will answer the phones because, well, I can’t. Let’s face it this man is way more useful than me, he trims trees and speaks Japanese.)

**Teachers bring in large pole with a U on the end (Also known as a sasumata) and begin poking each other with it**

This is not my picture. Also, I don't know these people. Google is a wonderful thing. I promise to take a picture of the thing and load it (someday). Maybe they will let me practice disarming people with it.. Probably not.

Staci: I’m sorry, what is that?

Teacher: This is for the strange man.

Staci: **Blank stare**

Teacher: It is to make him stop and go on the ground.

Staci: **looks from one twig person to the other twig person.**

Teacher: You hit his knees (with the U) and he will fall.

Staci: O. Where do you keep that?

Teacher: In the storage room

The storage room is in another building.

Staci: Ok?

The drill begins. The “stranger” (yes, they use one of the male teachers) is put on the ground and the students LITERALLY run out to the playground.

O Japan. I love you.

What?

Staci: "May I help you? 1, 2, go!" (1, 2, go means repeat me...)

Children: "May I shmelp you?"

Staci: "One more time!"

Children: "May I shmelp you?"

O dear.

Later that day...practicing shopping with students...

Daniel: Hello!

Student: Hello. May I have you?

Daniel: (puzzled look)

O boy.

Tuesday Morning with Staci's teachers.

...Normal tea time conversation...

Staci: Good morning!

Teacher: Good Morning

Staci: How are you?

Teacher: I'm fine, thank you, and you?

Staci: I am fine, thank you.

*Awkward Silence*

Teachers continue speaking in Japanese to each other.

Staci laughs at appropriate times.

Teachers agree Staci's Japanese is getting better.

Staci does not understand this.




The end.