Japan In A Week

My dad came to visit this last week for a fast and furious tour of Japan. We started in Tokyo...

Takeshita Dori

Kaminarimon Gate

Tokyo Sky Tree

Then we took a quick detour to Kamakura...

Daibutsu (Great Buddha)

After Tokyo we visited some other sights around the area...

Fukuroda Waterfall (with 6 inches of snow)

Oarai Beach

monkey sculpture in Nikko

He also came to one of my schools to help teach English...

a lesson about the weather

It was a lot of fun and now my dad has at least 7 new pictures of himself. The only question now is which one should be his Facebook profile pic.

What I Say, What They Hear

I decided to make a few illustrations to show what it's like to be an English teacher in Japan. As you can imagine, miscommunication is inevitable...

“You say” sounds like the Japanese word for oil paint.

Pears in Japan are more like apples in shape and light green in color.

“Show you” sounds like a popular sauce.

“Yu” is a very common Japanese name. 

Evolution of Janken

One of the most popular games in Japan is janken. You might know it better as rock-paper-scissors. 

In Japan, students use it to decide the player order in a game, determine who gets an extra food item at lunch or just play it as a game. The results of janken are final and thought to be fate so it is a great way to make a decision. 

At lunch last week I played a game of janken I will not soon forget...

Daniel & Student:  Rock, paper, scissors, go!

The student threw scissors while I threw this...

Immediately, they let out a gasp and put their hands up. One student even said “Don't shoot!”  


After that the items followed a strange evolution...

two guns
a bomb
a cat
a rabid dog

a kangaroo

poop

a butt

Doraemon

a fire

And for the last one, perhaps my favorite, the student faked a heart attack and pretended to die before he could finish the game.


Rock, paper and scissors work fine, but if you would like to mix things up a little you can use these signs...

English Testing

Every year, as English teachers, we must test our students on their speaking proficiency. It is the only time we can sit down one-on-one with every student and have a conversation. 

Some students found the test very difficult because English is a difficult language to learn...

Here are some of my favorite test conversations...

Daniel:  How are you?

Student:  I'm thank you and you?


Daniel:  Are you ready?
Student:  Yes. Let's English!

Daniel:  What time is it?

Student:  It's 10 fruity.

Daniel:  What day is it?

Student:  It's Fursday. 

Daniel:  Do you like dogs?

Student:  Yes we can.

This conversation with a 6th grader caused me to lose some sleep...

Daniel:  How are you?

Student:  I like fine. 

Daniel:  What's your name?

Student:  I like Keiko.

Daniel:  What food do you like?

Student:  I like sushi. 

Daniel:  Where is the library?

Student:  I like go straight. I like turn right.



My New Years resolution...


To teach students real good so they can English!

American Life: Part 2

What do you want to be in your future?

Everyone asks themselves this question at some point in their life...

Personally, I would like to become a pilot that transforms into an airplane...

or maybe a food critic...

But along the way there are many life lessons to be learned...

1) You can always count on friends to be supportive...

2) Respect your elders...

3) How to make letters with your body...

creepy

more creepy


4) And deductive reasoning...

It's also important to learn about holidays, like April Fools' Day...

and Easter...

Still trying to find the egg in this picture

I hope you learned some things about American culture.

Disclaimer:  Unless you are a human pretzel or relative of Mr. Fantastic please do not attempt to emulate the pictures above. Transforming the human body into letters of the alphabet is very dangerous. This blog, its authors, and blogger will not be held responsible for any injuries.  

Scissor Salad

Today I was teaching school supplies...

They were actually doing quite well until we got to 'glue'. Instead of the actual word they would say 'blue'. Let's try it in a sentence...

My dad sold our horse to the blue factory. 

Some people sniff blue to get high. 


But the real trouble came when I tried to teach 'scissors'...


Daniel:  What's this?
Students:  はさみ！
Daniel:  In English, scissors.
Students:  Scissors!

Even though I was holding a picture flashcard I still saw many perplexed faces. Then one student was struck by genius....

Student:  Ah! I understand! Caesar salad!

I should explain that シザー (shizaa), the Katakana for 'scissors' is very close to シーザー (shiizaa) which means 'caesar', like the salad dressing dude.

Or maybe he was referring to these kitchen utensils...

Not sure. But if there are scissors in your salad someone is probably trying to kill you.

Inverview with a Foreigner

Today I had lunch with a 4th grade class. It was a very western meal of hamburger, broccoli and tomato soup with vegetables...

During lunch I had a very interesting conversation with a group of students. I will now attempt to recreate that conversation...

Daniel:  Hello

Student:  Hello

(awkward silence)

Student:  How old are you? (in English)

Daniel:  I'm 25 years old. (in Japanese)

The students discussed this for several minutes. How could I be 25 when I had previously told them I was 24? Eventually, they realized that foreigners must also have birthdays, but students still have many misconceptions about teachers...

1. Teachers don't age.

2. Teachers both live and work at school.

3. Teachers never leave the school.

4.  Teachers know the answer to everything.

Back to the conversation...

Student: Do you have a girlfriend?

Daniel: No I don't.

Student: Oh...ok. Do you have a boyfriend?

Daniel: No I don't

My kids are very accepting. So proud!

Student: How many times do you shave each day?

Daniel:  One.

Student: When?

Daniel: In the morning.

Miso Hungry

 Miso ramen (pronounced mee-so) with udon noodles that you add yourself. A very fluffy bun filled with meat and mizuna (water greens) with tuna.

Monkey Suit

I am in a monkey suit. Actually, that is a terrible name for business clothes. Everyone knows that if monkeys wore suits they would be of the track variety...

The best picture I could find. Apparently,  a monkey in a tracksuit is the only image that can't be found on Google.

Of course if monkeys were civilized enough to wear tracksuits they would be doing things like leaving the toilet seat up, talking in movie theaters and cutting in front of you at Starbucks.

 

Anyway, the reason for my wearing a suit today goes back to Fall 2010. Last October, my English teacher informed me that the following week I should wear a suit because we were taking school pictures.

The next morning I arrived almost on time, in my suit and snapped the picture in 10 minutes. Obviously, that is not the end of this story.

Come to find out all of my morning classes were canceled. Why, you may ask? So we could walk to a field and dig up sweet potatoes...

What could I do? I put on some gloves, rolled up my sleeves and dug up some potatoes from the manure-rich soil. But the kids did most of the work...

Today,  I found a bag of potatoes on my desk.

I wore the suit because history is always destined to repeat itself whether it's fascists, fashion or romantic comedy plot lines. Be prepared!

This is my Family

This week I'm teaching family to my 5th graders. 

I decided to make new flashcards so I made these!

Sorry for the poor picture quality, these were taken on my phone.

 "This is my mother."

"This is me."

"This is my sister."

"This is my father."

Thanks family for helping my kiddos learn these valuable English phrases. 

I'm pretty sure they are laughing WITH you and not AT you.

Maybe.

White Diamonds!

The month of October means teaching colors and shapes to 1st and 2nd graders. It is complicated because many students do not know the names for the shapes in Japanese. My favorite mistake...

Daniel:  What's this?

Student:  It's a red scare.
 

I realize this is not a 'red scare' poster but it's red, could be political and is not offensive. When you think of red scare you probably think of Joseph McCarthy.

He pioneered the idea that if someone doesn't agree with you they are probably a communist.

Back to the classroom...

Daniel:  What's this?

Student:  I like white diamonds.

Though not answering the actual question, this is easily one of the best answers in English class.

This got me thinking about color and shapes. They can describe your personality, identify your body shape...

or denote potential road hazards...

So to review, stay away from red shapes and anyone with different opinions than your own (because they are probably communists).

Sports Festival II

The day started with sunshine, group exercise and a first grader being kicked to the ground by a cartwheel. The adversity would continue throughout the day.

It rained twice...

It was so wet the teachers dried the field with towels so we could finish the events.

 At the end of the day students made their way back onto the field which reminded me of a medieval battle scene...

To help against fatigue my school gave me with plenty of fluids (primarily energy drinks). 

There was tug of war, relay races and a 1st/2nd grader dance to “Maru Maru Mori Mori”.

 

I took many more pictures but need to protect the privacy of my students and their families. I guess you just had to be there.

Run Gaijin Run!

Yesterday I participated in my first earthquake/tsunami drill. Technically, we've had them before but I have not been involved. I got the memo but it was in Japanese...

This was a new concept for me having only been in tornado, hurricane and stranger danger drills...

I was teaching a 1st grade class when the alarm sounded and the head teacher made an announcement on the PA system...

Head Teacher: This is an earthquake. Please take cover.

They students lined up in the back of the room in the fetal position to protect their heads from any falling debris. The teacher and I also opened any windows. After the earthquake was over we were running outside...

In school I was taught to NEVER run in the hallways even during an emergency. It was extremely liberating. After an appropriate amount of time outside we ran back inside because there was a potential tsunami coming...

Once on the roof we had a school meeting and told the students there was no actual earthquake or tsunami (hopefully most of them already knew).

This was just a drill, but Japan experiences earthquakes almost daily. Please keep the Japanese people in your thoughts and prayers.

That time I went to Tokyo with my Co-Workers

So funny things happen when you go to Tokyo with a group of Japanese Teachers.

We saw Sky Tree, it is huge.

There is a posed picture, but I liked this candid one better. 

Then they asked me if I liked tempura several times.

This is tempura... It is just fried...anything.

I'm American, of course I like fried anything.

Next we toured the busiest part of Tokyo and ate dessert.

I got a cream snow cone thingy, they got sweet bean paste.

We went to a show. A Japanese comedian review. It was interesting. 

The acts consisted of two men and a microphone.

One man was usually fat and the other was skinny. 

Or one was dressed in ridiculous clothing and the other wore a suit. 

I don't really know what they said. 

One of my co-workers, after the show, said she didn't understand most of what was said because they talk too fast. 

We went to dinner, ate fish brains, and drank yummy drinks. 

The end.