Friday, July 22, 2011

Everybody Poops

Yesterday I found this box in my English room.

Obviously, I was confused about the purpose of this apron. The Japanese says something about eating healthy. I opened the box and found no apron...but I did find some other materials.

And most importantly I found the instruction manual. Let's learn how to use it...

First, you need to make sure you have all of the pieces. Then it's time to eat a bowl of rice.

Next, you should strip off the clothes and layers of skin to reveal an elementary version of your digestive system.

After giving enough time for digestion, it's time to push.

But as we all know, sometimes it's just not that simple. Sometimes you need a little more help. Like the help of four little guys in pointy hats.

Now you feel powerful! Or as the woman in the picture would say “fine, fine!” It think it's time to try again.

It is common knowledge that there are 3 types of poop. My favorite is the last one which looks more like soft serve ice cream. Believe it or not that is actually the most popular image in Japan when it comes to this subject. So...which one of these poops is best?

The answer is none of the above. It should look like a banana! Or as the woman is saying, “Bananas are healthy poo evidence” (thank you Google translator).

And what better way to celebrate this occasion than by disemboweling your apron. 

I hope that you learned something. I certainly did. If you would like to purchase your own apron it can be purchased here.

And since we are on the topic, here is a funny Japanese cartoon to help in case you still don't know how to use the bathroom.

Mystery Bun

This meal has miso ramen, which is one of my favorites and a mizuna (water greens) tuna salad. The mysterious white bun is very soft and filled with meat. As I may have mentioned before, I do not read the lunch menu before eating each meal. This makes every meal an adventure.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

American Stereotypes

 Sorry nose.. Yes, this is a vitally important English phrase.

Fat lady + Rude Kid = Good Old Americana

This picture is taken from the same series of books that was written about here.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Weekend Round Up

We had a wonderful 3 day weekend!

Friday, we saw the final Harry Potter movie.

It was wonderful. There was a huge earthquake that shook the theater, which made the movie even more scary...

We ate Mexican food. Yummy 

These are obviously not real. O and I had to crop this picture because I was sticking my hips out and looked VERY pregnant, not classy.

Sunday we went to church and then napped.

On Monday we did absolutely nothing. All in all it was a great weekend.

Monday, July 18, 2011

American Life

While going through supplies at my school I happened upon this very informative book called 'American Life'...

Naturally, I took this opportunity to learn more about my own culture from a different perspective. And I learned many things...

1) It's never too late to reinforce gender stereotypes.

2) All Americans eat hot dogs and tater tots, but some are more thrilled about it than others.

3) An explanation as to why there was always sand in my pajamas. 

4) Sometimes...people lie.

5) Some great parenting strategies.

6) And more great parenting strategies.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

So Close Yet So Far

In Japan, you are sometimes able to spot signs that are just a little off...

or flashcards that weren't spell-checked...

questionable food items...

or slogans on clothing that seem inappropriate.

It has become a hobby of mine to collect t-shirts that I have found particularly hilarious. These are the ones that I currently have...

If I had to describe Japan in two words they would definitely be 'premium softness'.

Not sure what this means...use your imagination.

I am not sure if this one is meant to insult or inform. Either way it is funny.

At least everything is spelled correctly. 

 This is actually one of the first shirts I purchased here.

And finally, I do not own this shirt but I thought it deserved at least an honorable mention...

Seafood Diet

A seafood curry including shrimp, squid, scallops and lots of vegetables. This meal had me on the seafood diet...I see food and eat it. That was a terrible joke. I apologize. There is also a konnyaku and ham salad.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Daily happenings of an AET

Today a naked 1st grade boy chased me around a classroom asking me what animal I liked.

Background: They had just come from swimming class so they were changing. Yes, they all change together in the classroom. O and yes, the public school provides swimming class.

That is all. I think it is enough.

Sunday, July 10, 2011


It's Friday Friday gotta eat lunch on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the noodles, noodles..In all seriousness though, each Friday we have some type of dish with noodles. This time it's curry udon. There is also a 'Chinese' salad and sweet potato potato potato chips. That was deciding which 'a' to stop with when spelling 'banananana'. See what I mean. 

Friday, July 8, 2011

My Teachers Are Devious

Today at school:

Best teacher ever: Staci! Today Old Man will come to school.
We will have meeting with him. We don't like him.

I am not making up a name for him, that is what she called him.  

Don't you think I am more creative than that? 

Yea, I didn't think so..

Staci: Ok...

Best teacher ever: SO we will plan our English meeting for 10 minutes after he shows up. You will come in to the meeting room and say "HEY! GUYS!! CAN WE HAVE A MEETING NOW?" As loud as you can. Can you do it?

Staci: Yepp.

After I interrupt the meeting and Old Man leaves... 

Teacher one: Thank you!

Teacher two: You're an angel.

Best teacher ever: You're a goddess.

Staci: You're welcome, any time.

So basically the plan was for the foreigner to scare Old Man away, it worked, almost too well.

Well played teachers...

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

4th of July

American holidays are always strange to celebrate in Japan because, unless you are with other foreigners, you are more than likely the only one celebrating. This year we decided to have a bonfire on the beach...

Very impressive, right? I thought so too. But this is what our bonfire looked like. 

We decided to walk out to a popular fishing spot to take some pictures. 

The rest of the evening was spent talking, eating hot dogs and s'mores,  playing sports and being serenaded by Allen Thompson.

And then there was the fireworks show. It was nothing spectacular since all of the fireworks were from the Japanese equivalent of a dollar store (yes, they sell fireworks in the dollar store...year round) but it was a good showing.