Lazy Sunday

I got a message from my mom this week.

She said I should not call my students weirdos like I did in this post.

She believes I should have said goobers.

I think she is wrong.

I also found it odd she wasn't more concerned about me hitting children.

*Disclaimer* I don't actually hurt the goobers.

Staci Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Currently we are in the dreaded of all units at school, the shopping unit.

Please, cue the Jaws music.

You have to set up a store in every class, which honestly sounds like a grand old time. But then the children ruin your beautiful store, they mix up the 500 million food cards you organized with care and bend all of your beautiful fake money. Then you fix it and the next class comes in. This happens 6 times a day for 5 days a week.

This is the only unit that is done by all grades… So, I get pretty tired of teaching “May I help you?” “Yes! 1 apple please.” After 5 days, it can drive a person crazy.

I think by the end of next week I will be huddled in a dark corner somewhere mumbling the shopping conversation and rocking back and forth.

This is the kids’ favorite unit. They are not concerned about my mental health.

Favorite Note Ever.

I just wanted to share this little gem...

I found this on my apartment door with a sack of groceries sometime last year.
I think she might have been referring to the time she said this.

Yuko: *pulling Dan's underwear out of the drawer* O! Look at these big pants!

Best Adopted Family EVER!


We wouldn't have made it this far without them.

But really...

Ordering Food

Had just taught the students “May I help you?” and were practicing responses.


Daniel: May I help you?

Student 1: Apple, please.

Daniel: May I help you?

Student 2: Ice cream, please.

Daniel: May I help you?

Student 3: Unko (うんこ）please.


Unko means poop. Hopefully, he was just being obnoxious and not serious.
It is easy to be obsessed with the subject here with books like this one...


　　　

My Favorite Game

Staci: Do you want 1 punch or 2 punches?

Student: 1 punch please.

Staci: Here you are. *Punches student*

Student: Thank you.

Staci: You’re welcome.

I have never had a kid say 0 punches please.

They don’t understand this game, but they kind of like it.

Weirdos.

*Disclaimer* The punches are more like "love taps". I would never actually punch a child... Well, I think.

How old are you?

Student 1: How old are you?

Staci: I don’t know. What do you think?

Student 1: 16?

Student 2: 32? (OUCH)

Student 3: She is 8. Remember? She always tells us during class. “I’m 8 years old.”

That is how old THEY are, I am just having them repeat it.

Staci: Ok.


I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite teachers...

Teacher: Staci, your face is so funny.

Surely she meant my facial expressions... Right?

Storytime with Staci

** Staci and teachers watching TV in the break room at lunch**

Teacher: Do you think that man is handsome?

This man had a sequined shirt on and pink pants. Japanese fashion, gotta love it.

Staci: Um… No, not really.

Teacher: Staci sensei is picky eater of handsome face?

Staci: Yes, I am.

I don't believe in lying

Staci: Good morning!

2nd grader: Hello! Do you like the sex-o?

Staci: Yes, I do. Thank you.

2nd grader: Good-bye!

Staci: Good-bye

The Sasumata

Teacher: We are having a drill today. The kind where the foreigner comes in the building to harm the students.

Staci: Foreigner?? Like a gaijin. Like me?

Teacher: NO! I am sorry.. Eh to (Japanese equivalent of um)..**sucking of air through teeth** Strange man drill! Strange man comes into the school to hurt the children.

Staci: O.. Ok. What do you want me to do?

Teacher: Stay here and answer phones.

Staci: **Uh…. Say what?**

(Teachers leave for 10 minutes and then return with the grounds keeper. He will answer the phones because, well, I can’t. Let’s face it this man is way more useful than me, he trims trees and speaks Japanese.)

**Teachers bring in large pole with a U on the end (Also known as a sasumata) and begin poking each other with it**

This is not my picture. Also, I don't know these people. Google is a wonderful thing. I promise to take a picture of the thing and load it (someday). Maybe they will let me practice disarming people with it.. Probably not.

Staci: I’m sorry, what is that?

Teacher: This is for the strange man.

Staci: **Blank stare**

Teacher: It is to make him stop and go on the ground.

Staci: **looks from one twig person to the other twig person.**

Teacher: You hit his knees (with the U) and he will fall.

Staci: O. Where do you keep that?

Teacher: In the storage room

The storage room is in another building.

Staci: Ok?

The drill begins. The “stranger” (yes, they use one of the male teachers) is put on the ground and the students LITERALLY run out to the playground.

O Japan. I love you.

Apple Starr

First we have“black” bread with the AMAZING creamy chicken and spinach soup. There is also a sprout salad with an apple slice. If you ever want an apple in Japan just say the first name of the famous Beatles drummer. Of course, if you want to say the band name you must pronounce it “bi-tah-ru-su”



My turn! This meal kind of lights up my life... It is SO good. Seriously, that stew is incredible. This is also probably the most fattening meal we ever eat. LOVE IT! 5/5 turkey legs!

What?

Staci: "May I help you? 1, 2, go!" (1, 2, go means repeat me...)

Children: "May I shmelp you?"

Staci: "One more time!"

Children: "May I shmelp you?"

O dear.

Later that day...practicing shopping with students...

Daniel: Hello!

Student: Hello. May I have you?

Daniel: (puzzled look)

O boy.

Tuesday Morning with Staci's teachers.

...Normal tea time conversation...

Staci: Good morning!

Teacher: Good Morning

Staci: How are you?

Teacher: I'm fine, thank you, and you?

Staci: I am fine, thank you.

*Awkward Silence*

Teachers continue speaking in Japanese to each other.

Staci laughs at appropriate times.

Teachers agree Staci's Japanese is getting better.

Staci does not understand this.




The end.